恋は思案のほか。

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testing1
~ 251013
Friday, October 25, 2013 at 11:18:00 PM

Things get tougher and I can never stay as a favorite in anyone's heart.
I don't care a shit even if I can cry myself a river.
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~ Love you
Sunday, June 16, 2013 at 8:45:00 PM

Being together with you wasn't something that I had planned in my life. 
I didn't regret about saying yes but I only regret hurting you. 
Breaking up with you on impulse just because I thought that I couldn't be able to handle you or me. 
Actually, I'm not sure if I can handle life itself. I think that I myself is a chore. 
I'm sorry that I hurt you and being a selfish person at that moment. I just thought I shouldn't care about anything because in the end we just end up being a sad human being.

Long distance relationship is really tough but I thought it was ok for me. 
Because I don't know or fully understand the feeling of being hugged, loved and just spending time together with someone I love. I don't miss being loved by my ex or anything.
I just didn't realized how real love can feel like again. It hit me hard. 
Being able to spend just a few days with you made me feel happy and real. At least I know there's someone like you that is caring and understanding me. 
But not a moment I can stop thinking bout the fact you might be gone one day not because you want to.
I never used to think that far but now I think I'm really thinking too far and too much. 
I don't know what I'm supposed to do if you're gone. Just when I thought that I found something that should always stay with me and growing old with me...

I think I'm crying because I wasn't prepared to leave so soon and continue living my usual life. 
The things I have to face and to do without you around or near me. 
We weren't sure how things are going to be, when are we going to see each other again. 
I should had skipped my dance class and just be with you for just 1 more day because I know it's worth it. But I had no idea what my brain did to me. 

I love you hunny and I will always try to be there for you too.
The things you do for me.... are things I wanna do for you too. 
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~ -
Sunday, February 17, 2013 at 2:11:00 AM

If there's anything I can change, it will be my level of being insecure and emotions.
All these unnecessary things should be gone and stop bothering me.
There's really nothing good and logical to cry about.
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~
Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 7:20:00 PM



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~
Friday, December 28, 2012 at 9:10:00 PM

Can't I just stay here
I thought that from this heartache I could escape...
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~ What if...
Friday, December 21, 2012 at 12:36:00 AM


What if...
You're suppose to help me get through life together with me...
Nobody said you've to be alone to live life.
Nobody can do that.
It's impossible...

The obstacles we face in life are something we have to get through.
We don't have to solve it immediately,
nobody said we have to solve it accurately or entirely,
what matters the most is trying and not giving up on the problems, yourself and life.
This is what life is... Isn't it?

I always hate losing anyone...
The feeling it gives is just... pain.
Does it even hurt to stay???


Sure, we will meet people that might hurt us but not everyone is like that.
Sometime we just have to focus more on people that love us, they are the ones that's going to make you smile and love life.
We can always choose what matters and what doesn't.
Life is always about the choices we choose to make.
Can't you choose a better one?..

Turn towards the sun and get to the brighter side of life hun.
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~ Life
Monday, November 26, 2012 at 12:26:00 AM

I won't cry. If I'm gonna lose something, then so be it. It's not up to me if people want to walk away from me. They made the decision themselves.

I'm just here feeling clueless what's the right thing I should do. Am I suppose to say yes or no or next time or never or forget it or I don't even know wtf my brain is doing.

I would really love to know or come up with an answer. Maybe my brain is screwing with my heart and vice versa.
What am I suppose to do really....
I never want to be reckless too but I'm never sure about things too.

Can I see where am I going towards?
Probably just me standing alone and facing all these crazy shit as usual, driving people away.

I like to have forever but I'm afraid of the process in pursuing forever.
I should just stop asking for anything.
I'm just a normal 19 years old girl after all.
Nothing special.
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